Hannes Ross' Dinner Speech Against Raymer's Ph.D.

Presented to great applause and wild laughter at Dan Raymer`s Doctoral Celebration Dinner at the Stockholm Stadthuset (Swedish Royal Statehouse)
6th May 2002

Friends, Swedes, and Countrymen, lend me your ears;
I came to fight Dan Raymer, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their bones.
So let it be with Raymer. The noble Rizzi
Hath told you Raymer is an expert.
If it were so, it was a grievous fault.
And Raymer demonstrated it!
Here under leave of Rizzi and the rest –
For Rizzi is an honourable man,
So are they all, all honourable men –
Came I to speak at Raymer's doctoral defense.
And Rizzi said he is an expert.
And Rizzi is an honourable man.
Dan Raymer brought so many viewgraphs into Stockholm
Which seemed to have impressed
The whole evaluating group.
Yet when I looked at the results
They seemed to have some failures,
And further works needs to be done.
But Rizzi said: He is an expert.
I speak not to disprove what Rizzi said.
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did see it – not without cause.
What cause withholds you then to join me?
O judgement! Thou art fled to brutish beasts
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me:
They gave the "Doctor" to Dan Raymer!
Now I must pause – this is too hard for me....

Hannes Ross, Usable and to be used Lyric Poet

Hannes Ross is the retired Vice President, Advanced Design and Technology for EADS Military Aircraft near Munich, Germany (formerly DASA, MBB, and Messerschmitt). Hannes is well-known for his pioneering role in the X-31 Supermaneuver Demonstrator program, and was instrumental in the design optimization of the F-15. He was selected to be the "Opponent" to Raymer in Raymer's pursuit of a Doctorate, acting as "devil's advocate" and asking the hard questions, but also helping the rest of the committee by setting the stage and putting Raymer's work in context. He "lost" - they gave Raymer the Ph.D. in spite of his best efforts. But Hannes got his revenge that night in this speech!

"The noble Rizzi" is in fact Dr. Arthur Rizzi, noted CFD expert, KTH professor, and Raymer's faculty advisor.

An Earlier Draft: William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar; Act 3, Scene 2, speech by Mark Antony:
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him;
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interréd with their bones,
So let it be with Caesar…. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answered it….
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest,
(For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all; all honourable men)
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral….
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man….
He hath brought many captives home to Rome,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason…. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.